MY AMAZING TRIP TO ITALY AND HOW TO STUFF 200 LBS OF GRIEF INTO A CARRY-ON BAG:


So, how did it get to be December!?!  I'm back from Italy almost three months now.  Time is flying. This trip I carried my grief, metaphorically speaking, in my carry-on because really, there's nothing else to do with it.  It was so much lighter on this trip.  Last year when I went to France the weight was still so heavy.  It's been three and a half years now since I lost my husband.  I can tell you that when someone you love dies, the love doesn't die. Which brings up the question, where the heck do you put it?  So far, the only answer that makes sense to me, besides your carry-on bag (haha), is to put it back into love.  Love for yourself and the life you still get to live.  Which means buy the plane ticket, buy the shoes, eat the cake, and dance like no one is watching.  They'll still be dead.  And that will always suck.  But, I have an angel on my shoulder that whispers in my ear to remind me...enjoy yourself, you're still here.

This was my first trip to Italy so I arrived early with two days to spend in Rome before meeting up with the girlies on Saturday at Romes Leonardo Da Vinci-Fiumicino Airport to head off to magical Puglia. In Puglia we visited Ostuni, Cistrenino, Polynano a Mare, Bare, Lecce, Matera, Albellobello.  I recommend them all!  These towns were incredible.  And we melted right into the vibe in every one of them.  From the people we met to the food we ate, to the ancient history we soaked up like sponges. And a special shout out to the old men that seemed to wait for us to come back each day so they could guide us into our parking spot.  Old Italian men in groups sitting or standing around seems to be a national pastime.

The 12 hour flight, the longest I've ever done solo, went smoothly and I arranged for the hotel to send a car to pick me up so there was a smiley Italian man waiting for me holding up a sign with my name on it. He spoke no English.  I also checked my carry-on bag, which I don't usually do, so that I could use the expander.  To carry on ITA Airlines they only allow 20 lbs.  But if you check a bag they allow 50 lbs. so I gave up my fear of lost luggage and hid an air tag in the lining.  I have to say getting on a plane with just a tote bag and a little cross body was really nice.  Especially since I'm 5'2 and usually can't reach the over head.  When traveling alone on a plane, make sure you have a cross body or fanny pack, something small for your valuables that you can keep on your body for when you fall asleep and when you go to the rest room. 

My first impression of Italy, very handsome men!  Like everywhere you look. Even the old ones. Seriously.  I stayed in a small boutique hotel in Rome.  I feel safer in a smaller hotel when alone in a big city.  Also, I brought a small hotel door alarm.  It's just a little battery operated wedge that you slip under the door and if anyone pushes the door the alarm goes off.  And trust me because I tested it at home, it is so loud that if it went off Interpol might show up.  The hotel was lovely and central to all the things I wanted to see like the Trevi Fountain and the Colosseum.  Rome was hot.  I got lost the first day.  I mean really lost, 30,000 steps lost!  Google maps failed me, Uber failed me, cabs were full.  My daughter actually tracked me and talked me back to my hotel from her bed in LA.  I know, pathetic.  By the time I got back to my hotel there was a cankle situation happening.  But I loved every minute of it.

Rome is vibrant!  The tourists sights get crowded.  I got up with the sun the next morning and walked to the Trevi Fountain.  I had passed it the day before in the afternoon and couldn't even see it, there were so many people.  I made sure I knew my way this time.  It was early enough so I could sit at the edge!  I channeled my inner Sophia Lauren and threw my three coins in the fountain.  I didn't realize the ledge I was sitting on was so wet. Um, yeah it's a fountain.  Nice look in my linen pants.  Then I dropped my hat in a mud puddle, but aside from wet butt and dirty hat, it was spectacular. 

That night I headed to Come na Vorta, a restaurant recommend by a Vlogger I follow and it did not disappoint.  It was the best pasta I've ever tasted.  The next day I got lost again, this time in Vatican City.  But hey, if you're gonna get lost... I've come to terms with being the kind of girl that likes to meander around a new city and make multiple cafe and gelato stops, confident that I will always find my way.  Eventually.

Saturday morning I arranged for another car from the hotel to take me back to the airport to meet the girls. The sun was just rising and the taxi drove right past the Colosseum.  The orange glow of the rising sun poured through the ancient arches, and I was in awe.  The picture doesn't do it justice but there's a Rome reel on my instagram page where you can see the sun rising right through all the arches.

I was so excited to reunite with our host, my friend Kathy, and friends from last year's trip and meet the new women joining us.  There is nothing better than girlfriends at this stage of life.  We took an hour flight to Puglia, picked up "Big White" (what we named the van) and headed to Ostuni!  A gorgeous coastal town with white washed buildings shining in the sunlight reflecting off the Adriatic Sea.  Our Air B & B was beautiful, but wasn't ready when we arrived so we found an amazing family owned restaurant near by and had a wonderful lunch.  It was the perfect start. Ostuni was fantastic and had a great vibrant town that we walked to from our place surrounded by water.  We did yoga in the morning on our deck overlooking the sea, toured medieval gardens, had charcuterie and wine off a wine truck, and I shopped like I owned Visa.

We headed out for a day trip to Cisternino and started out in an antique market.  After a cafe stop to cool off, we headed out to meet chef Fabrizio and have lunch in his gorgeous garden at his authentic Trulli home in the countryside.  His food was incredible and it just kept coming out of his little Trulli kitchen.  He was a happy man, doing what he loved and you could taste the love in every bite.  He told us his story about becoming a chef and fed us until we couldn't breathe.  Then he sent us off with more homemade goodies for breakfast the next day.  We ended the day lounging at a private beach club with the locals in Polignano a Mare.

We toured the Trulli homes of Alberobello which are gorgeous, made of limestone with domed or conical roofs dating back to the mid-14th century.  And we had the opportunity to go inside some of them.

Bari was incredible, we happened upon a wedding in the square of the Basilica di San Nicola Church, a major Christian pilgrimage site built between 1807 and 1197.  And legend has it that this is where the story of Santa developed.  The Church is so ancient, and gorgeous inside.  Our tour guide got us focaccia from the oldest bakery in Italy and we joined an old man playing street music.  And I mean joined, he gave us instruments.  I got the tambourin!  It was hilarious.  I always wanted to be Susan Day in the Partridge Family and play the tambourine.  Bari is where the the Nonna's (Italian Grandmas) make the traditional orecchiette pasta in the street and sell them by the bag full.

On to Matera! The oldest town in Italy, continually inhabited for nearly 12,000 years.  Standing on these ancient streets felt magical and sacred.  Everything was the color of sand.

In our spectacular "palace" in Lecce we had chef Roberta teach us how to make the authentic Puglia Orecchiette pasta.  We also made incredible spinach ricotta ravioli.  As a kid ravioli was my favorite food but all I knew was Chef Boyardee, usually cold straight out of the can.  I'm pretty proud of knowing how to make it from scratch now and I've made it again since I've been home.  We all LOVED Lecce so much.  Around the corner from our "palace" was the Main Street in the old town which was a combination old world Italian charm and chic hip elegance.  The restaurants were great, the shopping was amazing (me still owning Visa) and life here just buzzed with excitement.  Also, Kathy and I got to stay in the casita on the gorgeous roof top of the palace.  What a dream, waking up to church bells across the way, there was a dipping pool, and cozy seating areas.  The only challenge was to get up there. 80 steps up.  80 steps down.  You know I counted.  In the morning from the main level I'd go on the terrace and watch two elderly women neighbors chatting away in Italian while they swept their terraces.  It was like watching an old forgien movie with no subtitles.

We went back to Polignano a Mare again and spent the day on a boat touring sea caves and we had a blast. The boat captain liked high speed and loud Italian music, and so did I, who knew!  Usually I'm a bit nervous on a boat especially in the ocean.  When Mike was very sick he watched a lot of Shark Week.  I have seen every episode at least 100 times.  After that I couldn't even put my toe in the ocean.  But I got on the boat and I didn't even ask where the life vests were.  Haha, me living la vida loca!          

And of course the food!  There's just no way to describe it and even begin to do it justice. So go watch my food reel, next best thing to eating it.                                         

Usually I write everything down on a trip so I can share it with you and I planned to do that and make this a travel post where I recommend places and things to do but honestly I was having so much fun, that all went out the window. I even bought a little Vlogger video camera for this trip.  I used it once.  Documenting, which is usually my thing, gave way on this trip to being totally in the moment.  And therein lies the magic.

If you want a little more Italy I have some fun reels on my instagram @lifeinthesixo.  Sound up! 

Ciao Bella!




MY PACKING SECRET TO 14 DAYS IN FRANCE WITH 1 CARRY-ON:

14 days, 1 carry-on.  I know, where do the shoes go?  One of my girlfriends told her husband that I was going away for 14 days with just a carry-on and she said he laughed his head off, he knows me well.  I don't like to check bags anymore, it's time consuming and you risk lost luggage and aggravation.  However, I usually don't go away for14 days at a time.  Since on this trip to France 5 of us we would be traveling by train from Paris, and then in an SUV, we needed to make sure all our stuff would fit so we agreed to bring one carryon size luggage and a tote bag.   I've linked a few things in this post that I've been asked about after I posted about the trip.  If you missed that post, you can read it here.

I'll start with the secret to my packing success, these right here, Vacuum Storage Bags. You fill them with clothes, close them up like a zip lock bag and use a little plastic pump to sucks the air out, (no cord, no battery, and you take the pump along). Your clothes flatten into a flat pancake packet.  It's amazing!  I experimented before the trip to see how easy or difficult this would be since we would be on the move a lot, packing and unpacking.  Also, how wrinkled would my clothes be? (I'm not an ironer).  Much to my surprise when you let the air out, the clothes fluff right back up.  This is seriously genius!!!  And they are reusable and inexpensive.  I used three medium size bags (the box comes with a bunch of different sizes) and three fit all the items on my list below. Here's how it works...

This is all you need, bag, pump and the little blue thing that slides across when you close the bag just like a zip lock lunch bag.

This is about 1/3 of my packing list below.  One pair of jeans, one big scarf/cape, three long sleeve T-shirts, one sweater, one jacket.

Put it all inside the bag, screw the cap off and attach the pump, it's super easy like a bicycle tire pump, only the air is coming out instead of going in.  
If it's a little lumpy that's OK.  I used 3 medium sized bags and here's what I brought. Everything is mix and match, easy if you keep the color palette simple.  And everything can be layered.  The pancakes bags, as I call them, all fit on one side of the suitcase leaving the other side free for 3 pairs of shoes, loafers, ballet flats, and boots, I wore these sneakers on the plane.  I even had room for an extra purse. (If you know me, you know).  My hair dryer brush fit too. This thing is also amazing.  I have very curly hair and with the L'ange dryer brush it only takes 15 minutes to dry and straighten, as opposed to 30 minutes with a regular hair dryer.  I also had room for a small fold up umbrella.  Paris was rainy.

Here's what I brought...

  • 4 T-shirts 1 black short sleeve, one black long sleeve, one leopard print long sleeve, one cream color long sleeve.  I don't like to take a heavy jacket if the temps are in the high 60's.  I'd rather put a t-shirt under a sweater and then a little jacket or cardigan.
  • 1 big brown and beige sweater 
  • 3 turtlenecks, one black fitted, one black boxy, and 1 stripe I also worn on plane
  • 1 black and cream stripe sweater set
  • 1 pair dark wash denim jeans, also worn on plane
  • 2 pairs of pants, 1 black and white, 1 solid black pair
  • 2 skirts, both plated, 1 knit, 1 pleather
  • 1 black and white big wrap scarf/shawl.  These are great for the plane especially coming home because if you can't fit your purse into your carry-on tote and it's a small cross body, you can slide it around to your back and keep the shawl closed, works every time.
  • 1 black cardigan, worn on plane
  • 2 boxy Chanel type jackets, 1 black, one cream (I LOVE this jacket and it comes in tons colors)
  • 1 pair black leggings (for morning yoga)
  • I pair of pajamas, socks, undies, hat

Cosmetic bag / toiletries, journal, vitamins, jewelry, and snacks went into my carry-on tote bag.

That's a lot right!  If you need to pack light, these vacuum bags are the way to go!  I can't wait for my next trip...



Happy Travels!








GRIEF, A NEW CHAPTER, AND MY TRIP TO FRANCE:

I was thinking this morning, while still playing French cafe music as I got dressed for work, that grief is like an onion.  It has lots of layers, makes you cry a lot, and it really stinks.  The first layer is the obvious, you miss your person.  The next two layers are not so obvious.  Us grievers also miss the future plans we had with our person.  Those plans die too.  And the third layer, you grieve for them and all the things they're missing out on.  It's a lot to carry and process while trying to move forward into a new chapter.  

When you say you're starting a new chapter, people tend to think that you're leaving the past behind you.  But the thing about new chapters is that you must bring the old chapters with you too.  It's like reading a book.  If you closed a chapter and tried to forget it, the new chapters would have no meaning. You'd be in the middle of the book not knowing what's going on.  So I packed up my grief, and all my previous chapters, and started a new one, with a trip to France...

After Mike died, I knew I wanted to continue having travel adventures like we had and I knew I wanted to get back to Europe in 2024.  I thought about a solo trip, but that didn't feel right.  I had always wanted to go on one of Kathy's planned trips.  A few years ago, I was introduced to Kathy Camp on social media by a mutual acquaintance.  I've participated in some of her Wisdom Circles and drooled over her trip photos, trips for women only, limited to six and totally dreamy.  When she posted about the trip to France, I knew it was perfect for me.  

I loved this trip so much.  Everything Kathy arranged, from our amazing and diverse accommodations to our activities, (I think French cooking class was my favorite), to the wonderful restaurants she chose for us, everything was fabulous.  I'd do it all again in a minute!  Also, at this stage of my life I find I crave connection with women my age, and I want to make new friends.  I also don't like rigid tours, so this way of travel seemed perfect for me.  It felt like just a bunch of girlfriends on a trip with Kathy as our fearless leader.  As an added bonus, my sister came too.  I even stopped in NY to meet her so we could fly to Paris together.

Paris / Montmartre / Eiffel Tower

This was my second time in Paris. Something about Paris makes me start dreaming of going back the minute I get home. We had an amazing time in beautiful Montmartre. We stayed in an incredible artist’s loft, visited Basilique du Sacre-Coeur, dodged raindrops at the wall of love, climbed a million steps, and I ate my weight in baguettes. Montmartre is on a large hill in Paris in the 18th arrondissement. It has a small community vibe. The cafe on the corner across from the apartment was my favorite. Montmartre has lots of steps, 300 each time, yes, I counted. 300 up, 300 down, and 300 back up when we went the wrong way... I huffed and I puffed and I lost six lbs in spite of all the bread and cheese I ate!

On my first trip to Paris, I did not get to see the Eiffel Tower at night when it's lit up so I was very excited that we were taking a boat ride on the Seine and planned it just right. The boat ride was leaving at 7 and we hurried to make it from across town, (I was bringing up the rear as usual), but we made it! Not only did we see it lit up, but when they first light it, it sparkles like diamonds for about 10 minutes. I don't think there was a person on that boat that wasn't smiling from ear to ear. If you want to see the sparkly moments, I have a video on my instagram. I guarantee you all the feels. 💖

 

Dijon

We took the train from Paris to the Burgundy region, Bourgogne in French, and to the town of Dijon. Where the mustard comes from! I love mustard. Although the station was crowded and the trains were delayed due to the rain, I found the train station very exciting. It had an old world vibe with people hustling everywhere.

Dijon is the capital city of the Burgundy region in eastern France known for its traditional mustard and its vineyards. When we arrived (about two hours from Paris) it felt like we traveled back in time. I loved this town so much. It had a medieval feel but in a warm comforting way.  Dijon felt like a soft hug.

We toured the town, learned the history, shopped, and of course rubbed the good luck owl embedded in the gorgeous church. I’m a little owl obsessed now. We strolled the food market, the flea market, slept in castle rooms in a spectacular ancient building and had a proper 5 course French lunch at a Michelin Star listed restaurant.


Beaune

We left Dijon by car and drove through the countryside on our way to Annecy. We stopped half way to spend the day in beautiful Beaune. Beaune is at the center of the Burgundy winemaking region surrounded by the Côte d'Or vineyards and renowned for its annual wine auction held at the Hotel-Dieu the Hospices de Beaune, a museum, at which we had a lovely tour. From the stunning architecture and fascinating history of The Hospices founded in 1443, to an amazing lunch and my first beef bourguignon. I mean, when they wheel over the entire cheese cart you know it’s a serious culinary event!

 

Annecy

After lunch we hopped back in the car and bid au revoir to beautiful Beaune and headed to Annecy. I thought we had already seen so much amazing beauty, but then we arrived in Annecy. OMG!

I'm going out of order and starting with the cooking class because it was just so amazing and so much fun. We drove to the Chef's neighborhood about 20 minutes from the city center and old town where we were staying. It was a lovely neighborhood and we walked with the chef to her local farmers market where we picked up the ingredients for the gourmet meal we would make in her lovely kitchen. Then we feasted at her beautiful dining table set with Limoges. Our meal was so good and more incredible that it seemed effortless to make, all working together while nibbling on cheese. This was definitely all my French cooking class dreams come true.


Beautiful Annecy stole my heart! This first picture is a spot I looked at so many times online. It's the old jail on the canal and I couldn’t wait to stand there and take my own picture from that exact spot. Annecy is a resort town known as the Venice of the French Alps. And you can actually see the Swiss Alps in the background. Kathy found us an amazing flat in old town on a cobblestone street with frescos on the walls and ceilings, and views of the lake, it was spectacular. We also visited and walked across Les Gorges du Fier, a wooden bridge suspended 25 meters over the gorge which opened to the public in 1869. We walked it, very high up, in the rain. Totally out of my ‘I don’t like heights’ comfort zone! But I did it! Mike was cheering me on.


Lyon

And last but not least, we drove to beautiful Lyon! Kathy arranged a private tour guide for us. He was a certified historian and adorably passionate about everything he showed us. He even had secret codes to secret places 😉. We took the funicular up to Fourviere Hill to see the view and the Roman ruins. My jaw dropped when we walked into the Basilica, it’s absolutely stunning. At the end of the tour our guide left us at a "non-tourist" restaurant that was below street level in a “cave”, where the locals eat. Another delicious lunch. Then we said our goodbyes at the train station 😔. I was sad to see it end.


Back to Paris

My sister and I headed back to Paris by train for another two nights. We squeezed in as much as we could, walked another million steps, and I ate many, many croissants.  

If you're interested in a guide of what to see and do I have details and links from my first trip to Paris here.



P.S. - Packing - since we were going to be traveling by train and then all in an SUV, we agreed to only bring a carry-on suitcase and tote. Standard airline size, not very big. In fact, when one of my friends told her husband I was going on this trip with just a carry-on bag she said he said no way and couldn't stop laughing! 😂 I'll be sharing my packing secrets in my next post. 😉